{"id":9639,"date":"2014-01-15T14:41:02","date_gmt":"2014-01-15T12:41:02","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=9639"},"modified":"2014-01-15T14:41:02","modified_gmt":"2014-01-15T12:41:02","slug":"ben-yanarken-sen-dondun-mu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=9639","title":{"rendered":"BEN YANARKEN SEN D\u00d6ND\u00dcN M\u00dc?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>BEN YANARKEN SEN D\u00d6ND\u00dcN M\u00dc?<\/p>\n

Aysel, dantelli beyaz geceli\u011finin \u00fczerine saten sabahl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7irip, ses \u00e7\u0131karmamaya dikkat ederek aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na oturdu. Kocas\u0131 Bilal hen\u00fcz uyanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kahvalt\u0131 masas\u0131 haz\u0131rlanmadan uyand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7ok k\u0131z\u0131yordu. K\u0131zmakla kalmay\u0131p, hakarete varan s\u00f6zlerle kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n kalbini k\u0131r\u0131yordu. Aysel dalgal\u0131 sar\u0131 sa\u00e7lar\u0131na parmaklar\u0131yla \u015fekil vererek tepesinde topuz yapt\u0131. Ard\u0131ndan banyoda elini y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc y\u0131kay\u0131p mutfa\u011fa ge\u00e7ti. Seri hareketlerle kahvalt\u0131l\u0131klar\u0131 tepsiye yerle\u015ftirdi ve oturma odas\u0131na ta\u015f\u0131d\u0131. Bir yandan da sabaha kar\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc r\u00fcyay\u0131 hat\u0131rlamaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yordu. R\u00fcyas\u0131nda, k\u00f6ylerinin incecik akan deresinin k\u0131y\u0131lar\u0131nda Yusuf\u2019uyla birlikteydi yine. Yusuf, yosun renkli g\u00f6zleriyle Aysel\u2019e uzun uzun bakm\u0131\u015f, bak\u0131\u015flar\u0131yla onu ne kadar \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fini hayk\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yusuf, Aysel\u2019in r\u00fcyalar\u0131nda nedense hi\u00e7 konu\u015fmaz, sadece bakar, sar\u0131l\u0131r, a\u015fk\u0131n\u0131 b\u00f6yle ifade ederdi. Belli ki sevdi\u011fi k\u0131z\u0131n bir ba\u015fkas\u0131yla evlenmesine bir tepkiydi bu. Olsun, bu kadar\u0131na da raz\u0131yd\u0131 Aysel. Kavu\u015famad\u0131\u011f\u0131 a\u015fk\u0131yla s\u0131k s\u0131k r\u00fcyalar\u0131nda bulu\u015fmak da onu mutlu etmeye yeterdi. Onu o kadar \u00e7ok \u00f6zlemi\u015fti ki! Elini sevdi\u011finin ad\u0131yla \u00e7arpan kalbine bast\u0131rd\u0131. \u201cAh Yusuf\u2019um, neredesin? Hadi, \u00e7\u0131k gel, beni bu kah\u0131rdan kurtar.\u201d diye inledi. Hep bu hayalle ya\u015f\u0131yordu. Bir g\u00fcn, a\u015fk\u0131 aniden kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na \u00e7\u0131kacak ve \u201cGel desem, gelir misin?\u201d diye soracakt\u0131. Y\u00fcz\u00fcne sevimli bir g\u00fcl\u00fcmseme yay\u0131lm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerinden uzakla\u015f\u0131p, fokurdamaya ba\u015flayan \u00e7aydanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n alt\u0131n\u0131 kapatt\u0131 ve kocas\u0131na seslendi.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Bilal, kahvalt\u0131 haz\u0131r. Hadi, kalk art\u0131k!<\/em><\/p>\n

Bilal, kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n sevgisiz, so\u011fuk sesini duyarak uyanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Gerinerek yata\u011f\u0131nda do\u011fruldu. Esneye esneye lavaboya gitti. Havluyu, kuruland\u0131ktan sonra omzuna atm\u0131\u015f, masaya otururken de koltu\u011fun \u00fczerine f\u0131rlatm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Aysel onun bu hareketlerine sinir olur, etraf\u0131 gereksiz yere, kasten da\u011f\u0131tt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. \u0130\u00e7inden \u201cYa sab\u0131r!\u201d \u00e7ekerek, kocas\u0131n\u0131n \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131 doldurdu. Bilal, barda\u011f\u0131ndaki \u015fekeri g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcl\u00fc bir \u015fekilde eritirken buz gibi bir ifadeyle kendisine hizmet eden kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n y\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131. Kaba bir ses tonuyla di\u015flerinin aras\u0131ndan konu\u015ftu.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Yine k\u0131zam\u0131k ge\u00e7irmi\u015f gibisin. Allah r\u0131zas\u0131 i\u00e7in git y\u00fcz\u00fcne bir \u015feyler s\u00fcr, \u015funlar\u0131 kapat! Tahamm\u00fcl edemiyorum seni b\u00f6yle lekeli g\u00f6rmeye.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tahamm\u00fcl edemedi\u011fi Aysel\u2019in \u00e7illeriydi. Oysa Yusuf ne kadar \u00e7ok be\u011fenirdi Aysel\u2019in \u00e7illerini. Her bir \u00e7ile parma\u011f\u0131yla dokunur, sonra da parma\u011f\u0131n\u0131 duda\u011f\u0131na g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcp tek tek \u00f6perdi. Bir g\u00fcn \u201cAysel hi\u00e7 dikkat ettin mi? \u00c7illerinde ad\u0131m yaz\u0131yor.\u201d demi\u015fti. Ne y\u00fcce bir sevgi idi bu? Ancak derin bir a\u015fkla bakan g\u00f6zlerin g\u00f6rebilece\u011fi -belki de hi\u00e7 olmayan- bir yaz\u0131y\u0131 okumu\u015ftu. Aysel ayn\u0131 sevgi dolu s\u00f6zlerle cevap vermi\u015fti: \u201cKaderimde de senin ad\u0131n yaz\u0131yor bir tanem.\u201d Sar\u0131l\u0131p, a\u011fla\u015fm\u0131\u015flar, dua etmi\u015flerdi. \u201cAllah her iki d\u00fcnyada da bizi ay\u0131rmas\u0131n.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Olmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 i\u015fte! Yusuf\u2019un askere gitmesinden sonra, k\u00f6y\u00fcn delikanl\u0131lar\u0131ndan Bilal, bu ayr\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 f\u0131rsat bilerek Aysel\u2019e talip olmu\u015f, y\u00fckl\u00fc miktarda ba\u015fl\u0131k paras\u0131yla Aysel\u2019in babas\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc d\u00f6nd\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Aysel ne kadar kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015fsa da kimseciklere laf ge\u00e7irememi\u015fti. Hatta son gece bile babas\u0131ndan bu y\u00fczden dayak yemi\u015fti. A\u011flamaktan \u015fi\u015fmi\u015f g\u00f6zleri, darbelerden morarm\u0131\u015f bedeniyle, titreye titreye nik\u00e2h masas\u0131na oturmu\u015f ve ailesinin bask\u0131s\u0131yla \u201cEvet.\u201d demi\u015fti. Dokuz ay sonra, Bilal, amcas\u0131n\u0131n yard\u0131mc\u0131 olmas\u0131yla kasabada bir i\u015f bulmu\u015f ve k\u00f6yden ta\u015f\u0131nm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Daha ilk geceden itibaren, kocas\u0131yla aras\u0131na buzdan duygusal bir da\u011f koymu\u015f, her ge\u00e7en g\u00fcn bu da\u011f\u0131 b\u00fcy\u00fctm\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc. Y\u00fcre\u011fini sadece Yusuf\u2019un hayaliyle \u0131s\u0131t\u0131yordu. Ona duydu\u011fu \u00f6zlemle her g\u00fcn yanmaktayd\u0131. Yine inledi. \u201cYusuf, Yusuf\u2019um!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Bilal, kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndaki sandalyede d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelere dalm\u0131\u015f kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n dudaklar\u0131ndan d\u00f6k\u00fclen s\u00f6zleri duyar duymaz, elindeki \u00e7ay\u0131 onun y\u00fcz\u00fcne f\u0131rlatt\u0131. Ard\u0131ndan, yerinden h\u0131\u015f\u0131mla kalkarak, onun \u00fczerine y\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. T\u00fcm g\u00fcc\u00fcyle d\u00f6vmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Yusuf ha! Yine mi Yusuf? Unut art\u0131k onu, unut! Senin kocan benim. Beni seveceksin, Yusuf\u2019u de\u011fil. B\u0131kt\u0131m art\u0131k, b\u0131kt\u0131m. \u00d6ld\u00fcrece\u011fim seni.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00c7\u0131ld\u0131rm\u0131\u015f gibiydi. A\u011fz\u0131ndan t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fckler savura savura hakaret ediyor, kad\u0131nca\u011f\u0131z\u0131 yerlerde s\u00fcr\u00fckl\u00fcyordu. Neden sonra d\u00f6vmeyi b\u0131rakt\u0131. Masan\u0131n \u00fczerinde ne varsa yerlere att\u0131. Sa\u011f\u0131 solu tekmeleyerek hiddetini dindirmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Yerde bayg\u0131n halde yatan kar\u0131s\u0131na bir t\u00fck\u00fcr\u00fck atarak, kap\u0131dan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 f\u0131rlad\u0131. \u201cAllah\u2019\u0131m, ne zaman bitecek bu \u00e7ile?\u201d A\u011flayarak ko\u015farcas\u0131na y\u00fcr\u00fcyordu. Yusuf\u2019la Aysel\u2019in b\u00fcy\u00fck ve a\u015f\u0131lmaz sevdalar\u0131n\u0131 bile bile b\u00f6yle bir evlili\u011fe kalk\u0131\u015fman\u0131n cezas\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7ekti\u011fini biliyordu ama i\u00e7indeki umut ku\u015fu daima, \u201cBekle, bir g\u00fcn Aysel seni sevecek.\u201d diye \u00f6t\u00fcyordu. \u0130ki y\u0131ld\u0131r bekliyordu. O g\u00fcn bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc gelmek bilmemi\u015fti. Bu gidi\u015fle, \u00f6lene kadar da gelmezdi. \u201cSev beni Aysel\u2019im, sev beni. Ben seni \u00e7ok seviyorum \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc. \u00d6l\u00fcm\u00fcne seviyorum. Ne olursun unut \u015fu Yusuf\u2019u. Ruhunu bana teslim et a\u015fk\u0131m.\u201d G\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 titreyen elleriyle silerek, toparlanmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Aysel\u2019i d\u00f6verken eline bula\u015fm\u0131\u015f kan\u0131 o anda fark etti ve i\u00e7i s\u0131zlad\u0131. \u201cAh! Ellerim k\u0131r\u0131lsayd\u0131 da sana vurmasayd\u0131m.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Ak\u015fam, i\u015f \u00e7\u0131k\u0131\u015f\u0131 \u00e7i\u00e7ek\u00e7iye u\u011frad\u0131. K\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 bir demet g\u00fclle evine d\u00f6nd\u00fc. Zili uzun uzun \u00e7almas\u0131na ra\u011fmen kap\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131lmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Cebinden anahtar\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7t\u0131 ve eve girdi. Sesinin tonunu yumu\u015fatarak seslendi.<\/em><\/p>\n

-Aysel, ben geldim can\u0131m. Sabah i\u00e7in \u00e7ok \u00f6z\u00fcr dilerim.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Salona girdi\u011finde, g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc manzara kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda bay\u0131lacak gibi oldu ve yer ayaklar\u0131n\u0131n alt\u0131ndan kayd\u0131. D\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yerden dizlerinin \u00fczerinde do\u011fruldu. Ba\u011f\u0131ra ba\u011f\u0131ra a\u011fl\u0131yordu.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Ne yapt\u0131n sevgilim? Neden yapt\u0131n, neden?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Aysel avizeyi s\u00f6km\u00fc\u015f, demirine ba\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 ipe kendini asm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Epey zaman ge\u00e7ti\u011fi, cans\u0131z bedeninin morarmas\u0131ndan anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131yordu. Sa\u011f elini elbisesinin yakas\u0131ndan i\u00e7eri sokup kalbine bast\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Tekmeledi\u011fi sandalyenin hemen yan\u0131nda, \u00f6lmeden \u00f6nce yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 mektup duruyordu. Bilal zar zor g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc toparlayarak aya\u011fa kalkt\u0131 ve hayk\u0131rarak d\u0131\u015far\u0131ya ko\u015ftu. Yan binadaki kom\u015fular\u0131n\u0131n kap\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 deli gibi yumruklamaya ba\u015flad\u0131.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

-Ahmet, Saniye, a\u00e7\u0131n kap\u0131y\u0131. Ne olur yard\u0131m edin. Allah a\u015fk\u0131na a\u00e7\u0131n. A\u00e7\u0131n, a\u00e7\u0131n.<\/em><\/p>\n

Tekrar yere \u00e7\u00f6k\u00fcp h\u0131\u00e7k\u0131rarak a\u011flamaya devam etti. Ahmet kap\u0131y\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131p Bilal\u2019in halini g\u00f6r\u00fcnce durumda bir fevkaladelik oldu\u011funu sezmi\u015f, Bilal\u2019i orac\u0131kta b\u0131rak\u0131p, kom\u015fusunun a\u00e7\u0131k olan ev kap\u0131s\u0131ndan i\u00e7eri dalm\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Birka\u00e7 saniye sonra d\u0131\u015far\u0131 f\u0131rlay\u0131p kar\u0131s\u0131na seslendi. Saniye kocas\u0131n\u0131n arkas\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131 zaten ve olan biteni anlayabilmek i\u00e7in yerde d\u00f6v\u00fcnen Bilal\u2019e sorular soruyordu. Bilal\u2019in cevap verecek hali yoktu. Kendisine seslenen kocas\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na se\u011firtti.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Ne olmu\u015f? Ne var?<\/em><\/p>\n

– Felaket olmu\u015f Saniye. Aysel kendini asm\u0131\u015f. Ben Bilal\u2019in yan\u0131nda duray\u0131m, bir delilik yapmas\u0131n. Sen polise telefon a\u00e7; olur mu?\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Di\u011fer kom\u015fular da g\u00fcr\u00fclt\u00fcy\u00fc duyup, k\u0131sa zamanda toplanm\u0131\u015flard\u0131. Eve giren \u00e7\u0131kan belli de\u011fildi. \u0130ki ev \u00f6tede oturan Leyla Han\u0131m, yerdeki mektubu fark edip ald\u0131, Bilal\u2019e daha sonra teslim etmek \u00fczere cebine koydu. Bu karga\u015fada kaybolmas\u0131ndan korkmu\u015ftu. Polis Bilal\u2019i sorgulamak \u00fczere karakola g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcrken, olay yerine \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131lan savc\u0131, g\u00f6revlilere Aysel\u2019i as\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden indirtti. Aysel\u2019in cans\u0131z bedenini hal\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerine yat\u0131rd\u0131lar. Saniye, rapor tutulduktan sonra Aysel\u2019in g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcne bast\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131 elini yakas\u0131ndan d\u0131\u015far\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p, yan\u0131na uzatmak istedi. \u0130\u015fte o zaman, elinin alt\u0131nda bir foto\u011fraf oldu\u011funu fark etti. Bu Yusuf\u2019un foto\u011fraf\u0131yd\u0131. S\u00fcrekli kavga eden gen\u00e7 kom\u015fular\u0131n\u0131n s\u0131rr\u0131n\u0131 biliyordu Saniye. Bir g\u00fcn Aysel\u2019le dertle\u015fmi\u015f ve bu b\u00fcy\u00fck sevday\u0131 onun a\u011fz\u0131ndan dinlemi\u015fti. Yusuf\u2019un foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 da g\u00f6stermi\u015fti Aysel. Saniye arkada\u015f\u0131n\u0131n \u00fczerine kapan\u0131p a\u011flad\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Zavall\u0131 karde\u015fim. Yaz\u0131k oldu sana, \u00e7ok yaz\u0131k! Sonunda can\u0131na k\u0131yd\u0131n i\u015fte. Bu a\u015fk bitirdi seni. Sebep olanlar\u0131n Allah cezas\u0131n\u0131 versin in\u015fallah.<\/em><\/p>\n

Kom\u015fular dolaplar\u0131n birinden \u00e7\u0131kard\u0131klar\u0131 \u00e7ar\u015faf\u0131 mevtan\u0131n \u00fczerine \u00f6rtmek i\u00e7in Saniye\u2019yi kenara \u00e7ekmi\u015flerdi. Leyla Han\u0131m, Saniye\u2019nin yan\u0131na gelerek, \u201cBen de bu mektubu yerde buldum.\u201d dedi. \u201cA\u00e7\u0131p okuyal\u0131m m\u0131?\u201d Birka\u00e7 ki\u015fi daha gelmi\u015fti yanlar\u0131na. Hepsi de mektupta ne yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 merak ediyordu. Kom\u015fu k\u0131zlar\u0131ndan Sanem daha fazla dayanamad\u0131 ve mektubu Leyla Han\u0131m\u2019\u0131n elinden \u00e7ekerek zarf\u0131ndan \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131p okumaya ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cBilal! Ba\u015fkas\u0131n\u0131 sevdi\u011fimi bile bile, parayla ailemin g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc boyay\u0131p, g\u00f6n\u00fcl r\u0131zam d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda benimle evlendin. Sen benim sevdam\u0131n seninle evlenince bitece\u011fini mi sanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131n? Bitmedi i\u015fte, g\u00f6r\u00fcyorsun. Ruhuma asla sahip olamad\u0131n. Olamazd\u0131n. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bir an bile seni sevmedim. Kalbime girmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fman bo\u015funayd\u0131. Orada Yusuf vard\u0131 ve sana yer yoktu. Bunca zaman hem kendine hem de bana eziyet \u00e7ektirip durdun. De\u011fdi mi? Seni Allah\u2019a havale ediyorum. \u00d6lene kadar y\u00fcz\u00fcn g\u00fclmesin.\u201d\u00a0<\/em>
\nSanem g\u00f6zya\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 silmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015farak, titrek sesiyle mektubun arka y\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc \u00e7evirip okumaya devam etti.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cYusuf\u2019um, sevdice\u011fim, g\u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fcn nuru, g\u00f6nl\u00fcm\u00fcn efendisi, kekik kokulu a\u015fk\u0131m\u2026 \u00d6l\u00fcme bu kadar yak\u0131n oldu\u011fum anda \u015funa inanman\u0131 isterim ki; seni sevmekten hi\u00e7 vazge\u00e7medim ve hi\u00e7 pi\u015fman olmad\u0131m. Bug\u00fcn kocamdan dayak yedikten sonra k\u00f6ye telefon ettim a\u015fk\u0131m. Art\u0131k bu \u00e7ileli hayat\u0131ma devam edecek halim kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Beni kabul etmeyeceklerini bile bile baba evime d\u00f6nmek istedim. Sana kavu\u015fmak umudum hep y\u00fcre\u011fimdeydi. Sensiz nefes alam\u0131yordum art\u0131k. Ayaklar\u0131na kapanacak, beni affetmeni isteyecektim. \u0130nan\u0131yordum ki sen de beni h\u00e2l\u00e2 seviyordun. Annem senin yak\u0131nda evlenece\u011fin haberini verince y\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131m. Demek ki Yusuf\u2019um beni unutmu\u015f, dedim. Demek ki bunca zaman ben yanm\u0131\u015f\u0131m, o s\u00f6nm\u00fc\u015f, dedim. Demek ki ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z o b\u00fcy\u00fck a\u015fk yalan olmu\u015f, dedim. Neden vazge\u00e7tin benden sevdi\u011fim? Neden beni hi\u00e7 aray\u0131p sormad\u0131n? Neden gelmedin? Oysa ben her sabah \u201cYusuf\u2019um bug\u00fcn gelecek ve beni g\u00f6t\u00fcrecek.\u201d umuduyla uyand\u0131m. Ama sen gelmedin. \u015eimdi de evleniyormu\u015fsun. S\u00f6yle a\u015fk\u0131m, onu da benim kadar sevdin mi? \u00c7illerinde ismini okudun mu? Sa\u00e7lar\u0131ndan bir tutam\u0131 mendiline koyup g\u00f6\u011fs\u00fcnde saklad\u0131n m\u0131? Benim sa\u00e7lar\u0131ma ne yapt\u0131n? Hangi \u00e7\u00f6pl\u00fc\u011fe att\u0131n sevgilim? Yosun g\u00f6zlerinin bebe\u011fine hangi k\u0131z\u0131n resmini ast\u0131n can\u0131m? Beni hangi karanl\u0131\u011fa g\u00f6md\u00fcn? Sen bile benden sevdam\u0131 \u00e7alamazs\u0131n; biliyor musun? Elveda ya\u015fama sebebim. Elveda b\u00fcy\u00fck a\u015fk\u0131m. Bu d\u00fcnyada sana kavu\u015famad\u0131m ama ahrette seni aray\u0131p bulaca\u011f\u0131m. Cennet \u0131rmaklar\u0131na ayaklar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 dald\u0131r\u0131p g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f kanatl\u0131 ku\u015flara el sallayaca\u011f\u0131z. Biz mutluyuz \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc art\u0131k kavu\u015ftuk, diyece\u011fiz. Foto\u011fraf\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6p\u00fcyorum \u015fu anda ve seni \u00e7ok sevdi\u011fimi s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum. Son nefesimde ad\u0131n\u0131 hayk\u0131raca\u011f\u0131m. Duy beni a\u015fk\u0131m, duy beni.\u201d\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Herkes a\u011fl\u0131yordu. \u0130\u00e7 paralay\u0131c\u0131 derin bir sevdan\u0131n \u00f6l\u00fcme g\u00f6t\u00fcren feci sonucuna \u015fahit olmu\u015flard\u0131. Sanem mektubu katlay\u0131p zarf\u0131n i\u00e7ine yerle\u015ftirdi ve arabas\u0131na binmek \u00fczere olan savc\u0131ya teslim etti. Bilal bu mektupla temize \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Serbest b\u0131rak\u0131l\u0131r b\u0131rak\u0131lmaz e\u015finin cenazesini k\u00f6y\u00fcne g\u00f6t\u00fcrmek \u00fczere yola \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131. K\u00f6y mezarl\u0131\u011f\u0131na Yusuf da gelmi\u015fti. Bilal, cenazenin defin i\u015flemi biter bitmez, bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc ba\u015fa \u00e7\u0131kamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bu \u00f6l\u00fcmc\u00fcl a\u015fk\u0131n kahraman\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131na yakla\u015ft\u0131 ve Aysel\u2019in yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131 mektubu cebinden \u00e7\u0131kart\u0131p g\u00f6z\u00fc ya\u015fl\u0131 Yusuf\u2019a uzatt\u0131. \u201cHakk\u0131n\u0131 helal et.\u201d diyerek uzakla\u015ft\u0131.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

O gece Yusuf eve gitmedi. Ailesi her yerde onu ar\u0131yordu. Sabaha kar\u015f\u0131 k\u00f6yl\u00fcler dere kenar\u0131nda cesedini buldular. Babas\u0131n\u0131n silah\u0131yla kendisini vurmu\u015ftu. G\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs cebinde, i\u00e7inde Aysel\u2019in sa\u00e7lar\u0131 olan katlanm\u0131\u015f bir mendil vard\u0131.<\/em><\/p>\n

M\u00fccella Pakdemir<\/em>
\nwww.kafiye.net<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Aysel, dantelli beyaz geceli\u011finin \u00fczerine saten sabahl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ge\u00e7irip, ses \u00e7\u0131karmamaya dikkat ederek aynan\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131na oturdu. Kocas\u0131 Bilal hen\u00fcz uyanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Kahvalt\u0131 masas\u0131 haz\u0131rlanmadan uyand\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00e7ok k\u0131z\u0131yordu. K\u0131zmakla kalmay\u0131p, hakarete varan s\u00f6zlerle kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n kalbini k\u0131r\u0131yordu. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[294],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-oukulermucellapakdemir"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9639"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9639\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}