{"id":9071,"date":"2013-10-27T10:25:45","date_gmt":"2013-10-27T08:25:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=9071"},"modified":"2013-10-27T10:25:45","modified_gmt":"2013-10-27T08:25:45","slug":"uzulmemek-icinde","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=9071","title":{"rendered":"\u00dcZ\u00dcLMEMEK \u0130\u00c7\u0130NDE"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>\u00dcZ\u00dcLMEMEK \u0130\u00c7\u0130NDE<\/p>\n

Gece siyah \u015fal\u0131n\u0131 sermeye haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu yine. Soluk da olsa k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde. Kavurucu s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131n yerini tatl\u0131 bir serinlik al\u0131yordu. Bir na\u011fme tutturmu\u015f esip duruyordu r\u00fczg\u00e2r. Barak havas\u0131 gibiydi h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ve a\u011f\u0131r. Yava\u015f yava\u015f bulutlar\u0131 g\u00f6nderip g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 ekmek ister gibiydi.<\/em><\/p>\n

Kad\u0131n balkondayd\u0131, her gece yinelenen bu g\u00fczelli\u011fi izliyordu. Huzurun yazmas\u0131n\u0131 sarm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 ba\u015f\u0131na, k\u00f6t\u00fcl\u00fcklerden korunmak istercesine. G\u00f6k g\u00fcrledi \u00fcst katta, az sonra sa\u011fanak ba\u015flayacakt\u0131, biliyordu, hemen her ak\u015fam \u0131slan\u0131yordu bu ya\u011fmurdan. \u00d6nce k\u00fcf\u00fcrler d\u00f6k\u00fcld\u00fc a\u015fa\u011f\u0131ya, ceviz b\u00fcy\u00fckl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcnde dolu taneleri gibi. Anason kokusunu ta\u015f\u0131yordu ac\u0131 veren par\u00e7alar d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc\u011f\u00fc yerde \u00e7atlad\u0131k\u00e7a. Midesi kalkt\u0131 aya\u011fa i\u011fren\u00e7 kokusundan ama kalkamad\u0131 kendisi. \u00d6fkeyle \u00e7ivilenmi\u015fti sanki yerine. \u00dcst kattan duyulan balyoz darbeleri miydi onu oldu\u011fu yere m\u0131hlayan? Merak m\u0131yd\u0131 ba\u011flayan? De\u011fildi elbette, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc duydu\u011fu seslerden mutlu olmuyordu, \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcyordu.<\/em><\/p>\n

Babas\u0131n\u0131n sesini duydu \u00e7ocuklu\u011funun karma\u015f\u0131k t\u00fcnellerinden. \u201c Ya \u00fczersin, ya \u00fcz\u00fcl\u00fcrs\u00fcn!\u201d Annesini d\u00f6verken a\u011flayan k\u0131z\u0131na s\u00f6ylemi\u015fti bunu. Haks\u0131zl\u0131k de\u011fil miydi, hep g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczler mi \u00fcz\u00fclmeliydi? \u00dcz\u00fclmemek i\u00e7in g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak m\u0131 gerekliydi? \u00c7ocuk akl\u0131 ba\u015fka bir yol bulamam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 o zamanlar. K\u0131z \u00e7ocu\u011fu i\u00e7in g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olabilmek kolay de\u011fildi, ac\u0131lara sabretmesi gerekiyordu. Yok yere kavga \u00e7\u0131kartmaya ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 okulda, bazen yese de bazen de d\u00f6v\u00fcyordu \u00f6n\u00fcne geleni. Erkek Emine olmu\u015ftu lakab\u0131, do\u011fru d\u00fczg\u00fcn arkada\u015f\u0131 kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131. Magazin dergilerini kar\u0131\u015ft\u0131rmaz, elbise giymez, makyaj yapmaz olmu\u015ftu. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olacakt\u0131, okuldan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131 disiplin cezalar\u0131na da ald\u0131rm\u0131yordu art\u0131k. Evlenmek de istemiyordu, zaten kimse de onu istemiyordu. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olabilmek i\u00e7in \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 gerekiyordu hem de a\u011f\u0131r bir i\u015fte. Bir tamirhaneye girdi, kirlendik\u00e7e eli y\u00fcz\u00fc siliniyordu i\u00e7indeki korkular. G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcyd\u00fc art\u0131k, yaln\u0131z ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015fayacak kadar, kimseye boyun e\u011fmeyecek kadar. En g\u00fczeli dayak yemeyecek kadar\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

Sadece evde geceleri kad\u0131ns\u0131 ruhunun etkisini hissedebiliyordu. Y\u0131ld\u0131zlara bakarken, r\u00fczg\u00e2r\u0131n sesini dinlerken\u2026 Ama \u00fcst kat\u0131nda ba\u015fka bir g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz vard\u0131 b\u00fct\u00fcn huzurunu bozan. Hemen her ak\u015fam oldu\u011fu gibi \u00f6nce kap\u0131 tekme yiyordu, sonra kulaklar k\u00fcf\u00fcr, sonra kad\u0131n dayak\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc olmak \u00fcz\u00fclmemeye yetmiyordu art\u0131k, g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fczlere de yard\u0131m etmesi gerekirdi. Ald\u0131 mutfaktan b\u0131\u00e7a\u011f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131 \u00fcst kata, kap\u0131n\u0131n sesine adam \u00e7\u0131km\u0131\u015ft\u0131, zira kar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131n o \u015fekilde g\u00f6r\u00fclmesini istemiyordu. Zaten bilemezdi kendisinin de bir daha g\u00f6remeyece\u011fini.<\/em><\/p>\n

Yava\u015f yava\u015f geri indi evine, ellerinde adam\u0131n kan\u0131n\u0131n \u0131l\u0131kl\u0131\u011f\u0131 vard\u0131 ama yak\u0131yordu t\u00fcm bedenini nedense. G\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne bakt\u0131, ay utanm\u0131\u015f gibi saklanm\u0131\u015ft\u0131 bir bulutun arkas\u0131na. Kar\u015f\u0131 evlerin \u0131\u015f\u0131klar\u0131 s\u00f6nerken birer birer bir \u00e7\u0131\u011fl\u0131k d\u00fc\u015ft\u00fc \u00fcst kattan vurdu gecenin ba\u011fr\u0131n\u0131. <\/em><\/p>\n

\u201c Ben yapayaln\u0131z ne yapar\u0131m \u015fimdi, ne yapar\u0131m?\u201d<\/p>\n

Afet \u0130nce KIRAT
\nwww.kafiye.net<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gece siyah \u015fal\u0131n\u0131 sermeye haz\u0131rlan\u0131yordu yine. Soluk da olsa k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck p\u0131r\u0131lt\u0131lar g\u00f6r\u00fcnmeye ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcnde. Kavurucu s\u0131ca\u011f\u0131n yerini tatl\u0131 bir serinlik al\u0131yordu. Bir na\u011fme tutturmu\u015f esip duruyordu r\u00fczg\u00e2r. Barak havas\u0131 gibiydi h\u00fcz\u00fcnl\u00fc ve a\u011f\u0131r. Yava\u015f yava\u015f bulutlar\u0131 g\u00f6nderip g\u00f6ky\u00fcz\u00fcne y\u0131ld\u0131zlar\u0131 ekmek ister gibiydi.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[378],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9071","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-oykulerafetincekirat"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9071","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9071"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9071\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9071"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9071"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9071"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}