{"id":365,"date":"2011-01-08T08:22:43","date_gmt":"2011-01-08T08:22:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=365"},"modified":"2011-01-08T08:22:43","modified_gmt":"2011-01-08T08:22:43","slug":"oylesine-bir-renkteyim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/?p=365","title":{"rendered":"\u00d6ylesine bir renkteyim.."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u00d6ylesine bir renkteyim..<\/p>\n<p>Biriyim..<br \/>\nBir istasyondan \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne,<br \/>\nBiletsiz gitmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan..<br \/>\nVe her kontrolde bir kabinin tahta aral\u0131\u011f\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nan&#8230;<br \/>\nM\u00fclteci bir hayatt\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m..<\/p>\n<p>At\u0131lan<br \/>\nYar\u0131 dolu bir su \u015fi\u015fesinde<br \/>\nArad\u0131m mutlulu\u011fu..<br \/>\nKana kana su i\u00e7er gibi&#8230;<br \/>\nSonra hemen yan\u0131nda<br \/>\nArd\u0131\u015f\u0131k \u0131s\u0131r\u0131klardan arta kalan bir \u00e7ikolatada\u2026<br \/>\nEkme\u011fi be\u011fenmedim..<br \/>\nHi\u00e7bir zaman da sevmedim..<br \/>\n\u015ei\u015firilmi\u015f doyumlara yer vermedim hayat\u0131mda.<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcnd\u00fczleri milyarlarca insandan biriydim..<br \/>\nGeceleri ise,<br \/>\nR\u00fcyan\u0131n en tatl\u0131 yerinde uyanan k\u00fclkedisi\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Damarlar\u0131mda p\u0131ht\u0131la\u015fan nikotin kadar<br \/>\nYa\u015famaktan \u00f6teye gidemedim sevdalar\u0131&#8230;<br \/>\nBelki de bu y\u00fczdendir mutsuzlu\u011fum,<br \/>\nMutsuzlukla olu\u015fum..<br \/>\nC\u00fcmlelerle denklem kurmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmaktan \u00f6te,<br \/>\nK\u0131s\u0131r d\u00f6ng\u00fcler yaratt\u0131m kendime\u2026<br \/>\nCevap \u015f\u0131kk\u0131 bile olmayan&#8230;<br \/>\nG\u00fcn ge\u00e7tik\u00e7e istemeden k\u0131sald\u0131 c\u00fcmlelerim.<br \/>\nDaha net,<br \/>\nDaha a\u00e7\u0131k olmaya ba\u015flad\u0131lar&#8230;<br \/>\n\u00dcst\u00fc kapal\u0131l\u0131k karanl\u0131k \u00e7\u00f6kt\u00fck\u00e7e<br \/>\nTerk etmeye ba\u015flad\u0131.<br \/>\nVe d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerim de daralmaya\u2026<\/p>\n<p>\u015eik\u00e2yet\u00e7i de\u011filim..<br \/>\nTam tersi,<br \/>\nYa da<br \/>\ntam aksi\u2026<br \/>\nNe fark eder ki!<\/p>\n<p>Kapkaranl\u0131k bir odaday\u0131m \u015fu an..<br \/>\nKlavyeye bakm\u0131yorum..<br \/>\nParmaklar\u0131m yaz\u0131yor,<br \/>\nBen de okuyorum..<br \/>\n\u015earj\u0131 azalan telefonumda<br \/>\nTek t\u00fck \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131lar<br \/>\nVe ebediyete kaz\u0131nm\u0131\u015f mesajlar,<br \/>\nTa ki silinene kadar&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Sigaras\u0131 gittik\u00e7e azalan<br \/>\nBir paketi avu\u00e7luyorum 10 dakikada bir..<br \/>\nVe kibriti \u00e7ak\u0131p,<br \/>\nUzun uzuna seyrediyorum&#8230;&#8230;.<br \/>\nT\u00fct\u00fcnle bulu\u015ftu\u011fu anda hissediyorum feryad\u0131n\u0131,<br \/>\nSavuruyor duman\u0131n\u0131,<br \/>\nBir o yana,<br \/>\nBir bu yana\u2026<br \/>\nCi\u011ferlerime \u00e7ekip salm\u0131yorum saniyelerce,<br \/>\nBelki 5,<br \/>\nBelki 10 saniye&#8230;<br \/>\nDayanam\u0131yor,<br \/>\nKusuyorum bir t\u00fcrk\u00fc ad\u0131yla \u201cge\u00e7ti sevdalarla \u00f6mr\u00fcm\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Bazen bo\u011fuluyorsun c\u00fcmlelerin i\u00e7inde..<br \/>\nYazam\u0131yorsun&#8230;<br \/>\nAnlatam\u0131yorsun&#8230;<br \/>\nNeyle ba\u015flasam,<br \/>\nNas\u0131l yazsam deyip duruyorsun&#8230;..<br \/>\nK\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n bir dost dal\u0131n\u0131 a\u015f\u0131lamak i\u00e7in ya\u011fmurlara,<br \/>\nR\u00fczg\u00e2rlara g\u00f6\u011f\u00fcs geriyor,<br \/>\nHer yitiri\u015fi g\u00f6ze al\u0131yorsun..<br \/>\nFakat oyunca\u011f\u0131 oldu\u011fun bir a\u015fka dur diyemiyorsun!!!&#8230;<br \/>\nA\u015fka kukla olduk\u00e7a,<br \/>\nHer bir par\u00e7an\u0131 teker teker yitiriyorsun&#8230;<br \/>\nBir dost eli aramak umutsuzca,<br \/>\nBelki hakl\u0131,<br \/>\nBelki de haks\u0131z bir serzeni\u015f bu&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Art\u0131k anla..<\/p>\n<p>Art\u0131k anla&#8230;..<\/p>\n<p>T\u00f6rp\u00fclenen bir sevda ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n&#8230;<br \/>\nKendini kand\u0131rma!<br \/>\nKald\u0131r kafan\u0131,<br \/>\nYan\u0131ndan ge\u00e7ip giden g\u00f6zlerin pe\u015finden ko\u015ftun y\u0131llard\u0131r..<\/p>\n<p>Yeter!!&#8230;&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>Sana bakan g\u00f6zlere kan a\u011flatma\u2026<\/p>\n<p>A\u011flama\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026\u2026<\/p>\n<p>D\u00e7. Dr. Zerda ONURLU<br \/>\nwww.kafiye.net<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Biriyim..<br \/>\nBir istasyondan \u00f6b\u00fcr\u00fcne,<br \/>\nBiletsiz gitmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan..<br \/>\nVe her kontrolde bir kabinin tahta aral\u0131\u011f\u0131na s\u0131\u011f\u0131nan&#8230;<br \/>\nM\u00fclteci bir hayatt\u0131 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m..<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-siirlerdcdrzerda-onurlu"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=365"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kafiye.net\/2011\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}